We’re all for some boisterous hijinks, but someone in Australia seems to be taking this a little too far as a series of dick-shaped crop circles have started appearing in Melbourne.
While it all sounds like the fictionalised plot of Netflix’s American Vandal mockumentary, police officers are left scratching their heads buy a bizarre spate of phallic drawings appearing across the city.
Taking to Google Earth for a quick search, redditor u/adrianmtb spotted a strange shape at Melbourne’s Blake Park. These ‘drawings’ have appeared at three parks. So far, the largest is estimated to be 122 metres long and 20 metres wide.
Broadsheet guesses that the shape of the drawings means these cocks have all been drawn by the same person. Speaking to Broadsheet, Darebin Mayor Cr Susan Rennie explained:
“Darebin Council condemns this type of irresponsible vandalism on our parks and sportsgrounds. It is not a cheap joke – fixing the affected ovals is complex, costly and time-consuming.”
Rennie is clearly unimpressed by the council’s latest additions. She continued, “Council is taking action to remove the graffiti, but it can take months for the grass to recover, during which time our community are left using sub-standard grounds which can be a safety hazard…Rectifying the issue also costs ratepayer funds, which could be better used elsewhere.
“We urge members of our community who are equally as disappointed in this behaviour to call the police if they suspect an act of vandalism is taking place.”
Basically an R-rated version of Peru’s Nazca Lines, the schlong shapes have started popping up in several areas across northern Melbourne. Just like the Nazca Lines, they can only be viewed properly from above, however, unlike the Nazca Lines, it doesn’t look like these were drawn back in 200 BC.
Local outlets suggest that these ‘c*ck circles’ were created last year but have only caught the attention of the media recently. While the Nazca Lines have never been fully explained, it’s pretty easy to guess that this is the work of randy Melbourners who want to have a little fun at the council’s expense.
Whether the work of horny astronauts or practical jokers, it doesn’t look like local authorities are feeling very amorous about this one.
[Featured Image: Google Earth/Pixabay]